Sunday, August 28, 2005

Fountain of Forgiveness Part 2 Alex Chua

As I drifted off into sleep, I could feel the slip of water I drank from the Fountain of Forgiveness flowing through my body. My consciousness followed the flow and I found myself in a labyrinth. My legs were walking by themselves again and I was an observer. I heard the voice of Alexandria (my spirit guide donkey) as Maya (my totem spider).

“There is only one path in a labyrinth. This path always leads you to the source of forgiveness and unconditional love. You have made the choice to enter. Now, follow it with faith and you will arrive at the center of the labyrinth where a sacred space is waiting for you to experience healing and rejuvenation. There you will feel the redemptive powers of forgiveness and you will be empowered with the energy of love! You will once again feel light and free, without the chains of anger, bitterness and guilt! Forgiveness frees your spirit.”

“Easier said than done... ” I thought to myself.

“The labyrinth symbolizes a transformative journey into your own inner essence and back out into the world... just follow your heart and listen to the music from your soul” whispered Maya, “and you will find your way.”

I continued walking through the circuitous, spiral and meandering path, keeping my focus on reaching the heart of the labyrinth where I will find the secret of forgiveness.

“Wrong!” screamed Maya in the voice of Alexandria the donkey. “There is no way to forgiveness... forgiveness is the way. You reflect on your life as you walk this labyrinth and you will become aware of how your life is like this walk... and you will come to realize the importance of forgiveness and why anger, bitterness and guilt are all unnecessary.”

So... I will learn the lessons as I walk... hmn.

I pushed on. This labyrinth was a test on my patience... there were sharp turns that led me along rocky parts and there were long, slow portions that seemed to go on forever. I felt I was going in circles and not getting anywhere. I observe the flowers along the paths and I notice that I am in a different place. There were subtle differences that marked my progression towards the center. I quickened my pace and as I did so, the path seems to grow in length!!! I felt that I was somehow farther from the center than when I first started!

“Am I still on the right path?” I questioned myself.

“Good... ” I heard her voice again “I see that you are awakening... you are becoming aware of your experience. Now just relax and enjoy the walk. Do not panic and do not rush, or you will miss the point. As it is with walking the labyrinth, so it is with life... the point of living is being in the present moment. The present moment is where you find power and have the responsibility to make choices.”

I realised an inner knowing of the truth that exists within these words of wisdom. The past is gone and the future has yet to arrive. Only in the present moment do I have the power to live my life to the fullest. There is no sense in feeling regret, angry or guilty about the past. Similarly, there is no reason to fear or worry about the future. Instead, I must learn from the past, be inspired by the future and simply take positive action in the present. I felt a surge of elation, engulfed by a deep sense of peace. Peace of mind.

A distant memory invaded my tranquility and at that instant, my peace was lost. I was suddenly filled with anger at my girl friend for deserting me. My mind was flooded with shame as the memory replayed itself with 32 bit true colour and 3 dimension surround sound. Although we are back together again, I never really forgiven her. I was overwhelmed with both anger and guilt at the same time. As I stood frozen in my tracks and wallowed in self pity, I heard Maya's whisper coming from all directions.

“Just because you do not agree with the decision someone has made about their life does not mean that they are wrong. Each of us are walking in this labyrinth called life. Each will walk at their own pace and each will be at different points of labyrinth at any one time. Cultivate the compassion to see your fellow beings clearly and you will no longer need to judge them.”

My hatred dissipated and with it my pain. I remember all those beautiful memories we shared together and the previous scene faded into oblivion. I t was suddenly clear to me that I have unconciously allowed allow one negative event to define the course of my love story! The speel was broken forever and the truth set me free! Now I understand.

I was the one at fault all this while and I could not see... how stupid can I be? I am so unworthy of love!

“Maybe it will help if you also stop judging yourself. Forgive and you shall be forgiven... you are on the right path too. In the labyrinth of life, there are no wrong paths. A labyrinth may look like a maze at first but it is not. A labyrinth has twists and turns but there are no dead ends. There is only one path, and you cannot get lost. The same path that brings you into the labyrinth brings you out again. Walking the labyrinth of life need not be frustrating or frightening. You can choose how you feel while you walk. Why not choose to enjoy the flowers?” Suggested Maya faithfully.

I found myself at the center of the labyrinth and I saw the Fountain of Forgiveness resting in the embrace of nature. It was overflowing with what I now recognise as unconditional love. I understood that at this present moment, both my girl friend and myself were no longer who we were when that awful incident happened. That was a moment in the past which cannot be changed. The two of us that existed at that moment were gone forever... ...

There were a piece of bark and a burnt twig sitting quietly at the base of the fountain. It was as if they have been waiting patiently for my awakening. I picked them up and started writing a letter of forgiveness to my beloved.

As I finished off with my signature, a strong gush of wind blew past and the bark glided away from my fingers into the Fountain of Forgiveness. I watched in amazement as the letter dissolved and became one with the holy water. At that moment, I knew that I too was ready to become one with the water in the fountain.


At 6:29 PM, Blogger Believer said...

A piece full of life's wisdom. Well done, Alex.

At 7:42 PM, Blogger Imogen Crest said...

Labyrinths are so interesting. Great journeying to freedom.

At 10:23 PM, Blogger Lois said...

Yes Alex.....Experiences mean we are never that same person again,and if we can learn from them well we are truely growing.
(Lois) Muse of the Sea

At 3:01 AM, Blogger Leonie Bryant said...

What wonderful freedom you will experience from your reflection and listening to your inner voices


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